Hi. My name is Chris Millis. Pledge name: Potsie, scroll #137. Why Potsie? I was told it was because the brothers considered me “The All-American Guy.” But remember, the majority of those clowns were perpetually drunk and/or high.
I was in the Psi pledge class, fall 1990. We started with fifteen and crossed with nine. Our mottos were: “Fuck off and die, we’re the class of Psi,” and, “Smoke pot, eat twat, smile a lot.” Which I’m pretty sure we stole from the Phi or Chi class. Nevertheless, I didn’t do very much of the first two while I was in Buffalo. But I did smile a lot — especially when the Bills lost four Super Bowls in a row while I was in town (I’m a Patriots fan which, if you’re a recent arrival to the earth, let me educate you on something: They used to be the worst team in football. Of course, the Bills still are.)
I served as hypophetes, hegemon (for three classes), epi-prytanis, and prytanis (for a long time; perhaps too long). As a sophomore I was in charge of the test file and, let me just say, during my tenure, its content was glorious.
I very much enjoyed my time as a Teke brother at Buff State. TKE was an enormous focus in my college years and I was fully committed to helping the chapter succeed and remain viable for future knuckleheads. I’ve stayed closest to my fraternal little brother, and roommate all through college, Mike Lynch. I have so much dirt on Lynch he has no choice but to keep me close, and happy. Otherwise, I could ruin him.
I played baseball four years at Buffalo State (catcher), and wrote and drew cartoons for the campus newspaper, The Record. I also did some illustrating for a national college paper while still in school and for my hometown paper, The Saratogian, in Saratoga Springs, NY.
I graduated BSC in 1994 with a bachelor’s in art, I think. I’d have to double-check that. I was a solid “C” student. I remember one professor in the art department pulling me aside in the second semester of my senior year and saying, “Millis, where the fuck have you been? You could’ve been the brightest student in this department.” Ah, but that ship had long sailed. I always firmly believed that college would be amazing if it wasn’t for the damn classes.
In October 1996, my best fraternity pal, Rich Holman (Pledge name: Bunyon — as in Paul Bunyon, because he always wore flannel), was killed in an automobile accident in Glynco, Georgia. Rich was seven weeks away from completing the Federal Parks Police Academy and would have graduated on his birthday. He was engaged to a girl that he dated all through college. When I think of Teke at Buffalo State, I think of Rich.
Career & Family
My first jobs out of college were beat reporting, writing editorials, sportswriting, and drawing editorial cartoons for daily newspapers in Rochester and Saratoga Springs. Later, I went on to earn my MFA in Creative Writing from Goddard College, Vermont.
In 1995 I started my work which continues today on the nationally syndicated cartoon feature “Close To Home” with John McPherson, distributed by Universal Press Syndicate to about 500 publications worldwide. I’ve created thousands of freelance illustrations for newspapers, magazines, greeting cards, books, toys — anything that pays cash money, really.
In 2001 I published my first novel, “Small Apartments,” (Anvil Press) which is based on the neighborhoods I used to live in on Buffalo’s west side. In October 2010, “Small Apartments” will be filmed as a motion picture starring Mickey Rourke and Matt Lucas with Jonas Akerlund directing. I adapted the screenplay and am also an Executive Producer. My second, as-yet-unpublished, novel, God & California, was optioned by Lionsgate.
These days I stay busy writing books and screenplays. I’m collaborating with Rob Schneider on his upcoming memoir, as well as on some other projects. I have collaborated on books with Charlie Murphy (Simon & Schuster, 2009) and “Jersey Shore’s” The Situation (Penguin, 2010). I have a dozen or so screenwriting and producing projects in active development.
I’ve been married since 1997. My wife and I dated all through college. We have identical twin sons, Jack and Harrison, born January 2007. I still live in my hometown of Saratoga Springs and travel to wherever the action is.
Editors Note: You can read more about Chris on his Blog.Share on Facebook